Owls from Last Night

[coreofaphoenix]

it's like texts from last night only better and with wizards/witches!

you know it goes

Comments

Cassie Potter (Rule!63 Harry Potter)

[minhalilia]

a. I'm not drowning in my feelings, ok - YOU'RE drowning in your feelings. But also yes, I have drunk an entire bottle of wine and eaten a pint of ice cream. Stop judging me, judgy mc-judgerson.

b. You insisted LOUDLY that you weren't drunk before passing out on my bed. In case you didn't know before now, you are a blanket hog.

c. Why do I have half a dozen texts in Latin or some variation of it requesting KFC? At 2 a.m.?

d. text her!

c. [if they were somehow classmates - because Latin]

[timenssecundus]

eheu non iterum



[translation: "oh no, not again"]

a.

[reparo]

Don't make me come over there and wrestle the ice cream out of your hands, Potter.

c

[nev]

Because mashed potatoes.

a.

[tsingtauense]

I see nothing, so no need to be embarrassed.

But I happen to have absorbent carbohydrates (muffins) to share if for any reason you wanted to talk.

b for slytherin cassie in some kind of flatmate situation? idk yolo

[malfoi]

Ugh. What. I must have taken the wrong door last night, I thought it was my room

Sorr


On a scale of 1-10 how mortifying was I?

neville longbottom

[nev]

1) I had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
2) Update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
3) I'm bleeding and have questions
4) The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock"
5) Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.

1 - she's gonna FITE THEM

[reparo]

Why on earth would you feel the need to apologise? Who said?

4

[coreofaphoenix]

It was the name you insisted you wanted to go by. You said it was, and I quote, "classy". Who am I to tell you no?

3

[baby_deer]

I tried to take you to the hospital for a check-up...

5 (misfire??? BECAUSE REASONS.)

[minhalilia]

You wanted to make out with me?

5.

[shlongbottom]

Oh dear, love. Do we need to dig the Remembrall out from the vault?

lily evans

[lancifolium]

1. Do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
2. But breakdance skills will only take you so far.
3. I've charmed it to make a foghorn sound when they use it. Now we wait.
4. 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off and eat a brownie.
5. I just had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.

2

[minhalilia]

IDK the dancing movies say that it'll take me far and I'll win CONTESTS! And that I'll teach people about the power of "sticking it to the man" through my amazing dancing skills.

[Not that she exactly had any dancing skills to begin with but technicalities!]

4 - i am going with the whole classmates in marauder era au now

[reparo]

Could you please summon the house elves before taking your shirt off this time? Winky is still traumatised.

4

[dromedablack]

I really must try this. Sounds indulgent!

1

[timenssecundus]

For the love of Merlyn, please, please tell me this text was intended for J or S and only sent to me by mistake.

Otherwise, I am never ever never letting them give me any form of intoxicant again.

5

[bitterasphodels]

And why did you wait an entire week to have coffee? That seems entirely unnecessary.

1

[shlongbottom]

Some of my best bacon, if I'm honest.

(I'm just gonna put ALL of my muses here)

[lumenrelegandus]

Marauder-era Remus Lupin timenssecundus

1. The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers. You should at least give back sixty of them.
2. We need to somehow leave discretely with the toilet brush.
3. I found my sweater, wallet, and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
4. eberyones makingfun of me cause ifound a snail caught him and put in a box fur yu
5. There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you I suppose.

Trio-era Remus Lupin lumenrelegandus

1. I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore.
2. I was judged by a squirrel this morning.
3. We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
4. This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day.
5. I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

Narcissa Black Malfoy amaryllid

1. If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
2. She started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. Starting to back out of this one.
3. I permit you to call me.
4. Just saw some workers running through their workplace with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
5. I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga… thing. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Whom do I kill.

Lily Evans Potter/[AU] El Evans tsingtauense

1. She said "I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you." What do I say except "I have that effect on people"
2. I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the ridiculous ashes.
3. I'm self-actualising. Send help.
4. I think my Halloween costume this year will be a marshmallow. It'll be made entirely of pillows. I'll be comfortable, warm, and if I fall over, it's fine.
5. He's 11. You don't draw dicks on 11 year-olds. I don't care if he ate your lasagna.

Sirius Black riseheliacal

1. ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face ? i have
2. i'm having a self conscious moment and i need your complete honest opinion of my boobs
3. i'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
4. this is james . youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some . sorry
5. i didn't think i'd have to specify 'not my dad'

[P.S. And we discover: this meme far and away made for Sirius and Narcissa.]

Trio Era Remus - 5 (idk an au where Sirius lives?)

[canemstellam]

Rude, Mooney. Have I been away for so long that I'm now a stranger??

Also. I was out of cigarettes and hoped you'd share.

[He's just ignoring the fact that he woke the other man up at 4 a.m.!]

trio-lupin - #3

[reparo]

WHO GAVE CROOKSHANKS FIREWHISKEY??

Sirius Black

[canemstellam]

a. So the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so they posed together, and then he said "lets get a picture of the couples" and they posed together. The inbreeding in this family is insane.

b. HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE

c. By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.

d. I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons. I'm not sure how I became the mature one here.

e. text him

[Seriously though, this meme is 100% made for the Black family.]

c.

[reparo]

Although you didn't have to keep the Animagus form up, I did appreciate that was perhaps the most attentively I've ever seen a dog eat fries.

hermione granger

[reparo]

sober and depressed:

1. I have cats now. Five of them. Am considering starting a global domination firm.
2. I wish that I had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs

drunk and lacking filter:

a. I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking.
b. Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.

1

[lancifolium]

Take me with you.

Harry Potter

[baby_deer]

1. there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber

2. I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.

3. I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message

4. No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.

5. So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...

5.

[reparo]

Told you not to give him a guitar for his birthday.