Until Dumbledore found Remus again and gave him a professorship, Lupin had been living in self-imposed exile; total hermitage, just outside a muggle town, where he'd magically help the residents (shift the trajectory of a falling tree limb, contain a fire, shield from a storm, improve crops, catch a toddler from wandering into the lake) without them every knowing he was there or anything at all had been done. It had been a much simpler existence… because it has also been, in his heart, flatter and colder. But he couldn't get over what he'd had nor face either having or not having it ever again.
The key, though, hadn't been the losses. It had been the betrayal. The idea that not only were his friends dead, but possibly, the best of them (Sirius) having never been who Remus had thought he'd been. That not only had the lost them, Remus maybe had never had them the way he'd thought he did at all.
Having Sirius restored him also restored all of them, all of it. All the way back.
"You never have to talk about it," said Lupin, in lieu of nothing. (The best time to bring Azkaban up.) "But you can. To me. You know that right?"
[ <3 ! ]
Understatement of the ages.
Until Dumbledore found Remus again and gave him a professorship, Lupin had been living in self-imposed exile; total hermitage, just outside a muggle town, where he'd magically help the residents (shift the trajectory of a falling tree limb, contain a fire, shield from a storm, improve crops, catch a toddler from wandering into the lake) without them every knowing he was there or anything at all had been done. It had been a much simpler existence… because it has also been, in his heart, flatter and colder. But he couldn't get over what he'd had nor face either having or not having it ever again.
The key, though, hadn't been the losses. It had been the betrayal. The idea that not only were his friends dead, but possibly, the best of them (Sirius) having never been who Remus had thought he'd been. That not only had the lost them, Remus maybe had never had them the way he'd thought he did at all.
Having Sirius restored him also restored all of them, all of it. All the way back.
"You never have to talk about it," said Lupin, in lieu of nothing. (The best time to bring Azkaban up.) "But you can. To me. You know that right?"